|
valhalla high school: welcome back
Characters!
Principal: Odin
Vice Principal: Freya
Coach: Valkyrie
Teacher: Frei
New Teacher: Belenus
Bus driver: Gandar
Evil Janitor: Loki
Students:
Jocks: Arngrim, Lucian, Lawfer, Suo
Nerds/Brains: Kashell, Lezard, Llewelyn, Nanami, Yumei
Popular girls: Mystina, Jelanda, Jayle, Aelia
Schools pretty boy: Jun
Depressed chick: Lyseria
Kid who always falls asleep in class: Janus
~* Summer was over. School was starting over again. Frei had dreaded this day for
months. Odin called all the students into the auditorium for a boring first day lecture*~
Odin: Welcome back, kidies! Now, I will explain the rules..
*Jelanda raises hand*
Odin: Yes little girl?
Jelanda: Look. We’re all seniors now. We know the rules and our way around this place.
And I’m not a little girl!
Odin: Hehehehee!
Jelanda: ....your scaring me...
Odin: First, I will introduce your teachers.
*students groan*
Odin: This is your coach, Valkyrie.
*Valkyrie’s eye twitches as she waits for her class so she can torture*
Odin: Umm...This is your teacher who will teach you all classes, Frei.
*Frei gulps down a whole bottle of asprin*
Odin: Your sexy Vice Principal, Freya.
*Freya sighs*
Odin: The evil janitor, Loki.
Loki: Mwhahahahaha!!!
Odin: Uh..yeah. And your bus driver, Gandar.
Gandar: You better behave this year you little brats!
Some students: Bite me!
Gandar: What was that?!!!
Odin: Uh huh...OK. The bell is about to ring. Go to class. Enjoy your first day! Hehehehe!
*The senior class looks at him confused and go to their class*
Frei: *after taking another bottle of asprin* Welcome back class. I hope you enjoyed your
summer. We’ll begin with...
*Arngrim raises his hand*
Frei: Yes Arngrim?
Arngrim: I gotta pee!
Frei: I don’t care, Arngrim!
Arngrim: But Miss, its a real emergency! My liver is gonna explode!
Kashell: You mean your blatter.
Arngrim: Shut up, punk!
Frei: *sighs* No Arngrim, you can’t go to the restroom.
Arngrim: I’m gonna explode!!!!
Frei: I don’t care!
*Aelia raises her hand*
Frei: Yes Aelia?
Aelia: Just let him go!
Frei: Aelia, I’m not in the mood.
*Mystina raises her hand*
Frei: Yes Mystina?
Mystina: That new kid is snoring right in my ear!
Frei: *sighs* Janus, wake up!
*Janus doesn’t wake up*
*Lucian raises his hand*
Frei: Yes Lucian?
Lucian: I gotta pee.
*Frei screams and runs outta the classroom. The classroom is silent for a moment. They
all look at each-other and grin*
Lawfer: Alright! No teacher! Party! Party!
*all the students join in the chant*
?????: There will be no parties in here!!!
Huh?*all the students look up. A Shakespeare wanna-be looking guy walks in and sets
down some teacher’s materials on his desk*
????: Hello. I will be your new teacher. Since you ran off the last one. My name is Mr.
Belenus.
*Arngrim raises his hand*
Belenus: Yes?
Arngrim: I gotta pee!
Belenus: You should have went before class started, sir. Now, I will take the role.
Lucian: Where ya taking it?
*the class laughs*
Belenus: *glares at Lucian* Thats a warning, sir.
*Mystina raises her hand*
Belenus: Yes, young lady?
Mystina: I know everyone here. I’ll take the role for ya!
Belenus: Thank you. That would be kind.
*Mystina jumps out of her seat and grabs the role*
Mystina: Lets see...Depressed ugly dressed chick? She’s here. Four eyes, he’s here. Nerdy
blue-haired guy, he’s here. My boyfriend! Hehe! He’s here! Aelia, my home gurl, she’s
here!
Belenus: *interrupts* Young lady, we will not call people names!
Mystina: Oh, they don’t mind. Now...Lucio! He’s here. Football lover, Suo? He’s here.
Wimpy Llewelyn, he’s here. Janus? He must be the new kid. Wanna-be pretty boy is
here....Yep! Everyone is here!
Belenus: Thank you. *takes the role*
*Mystina sits back down*
Lawfer: *whistles* Nice Mysty!
Mystina: hehe! Thank you!
Lezard: *mocks her* Hehe! Thank you!
Mystina: *glares at him* Stop it, nerd-boy!
Lezard: Stop it! Nerd-boy!
Mystina: You really don’t want Arngrim to beat you up!
Lezard: You really don’t want Arngrim to beat you up!
Mystina: Mr. Belenus!
Belenus: Young lady, sir, bequiet!
*Mystina glares at Lezard then turns back to the teacher*
Belenus: *looks at Suo* Sir, why are you wearing your football uniform in class?
Suo: Its super-glued to my skin, Mr. Belenus!
Belenus: I beg your pardon!
Suo: Seriously! It was dare! Its really embarassing when I try to play baseball or
basketball. So I only play football.
Belenus: I see...Well, I will assign yall seats now.
*the class moans*
Belenus: Mr. Arngrim, you will sit here. *points to first chair, first row. Arngrim laughs
stupidly and sits down* Lyseria, you sit here, behind Arngrim. *Lyseria quietly sits down*
Aelia, you will be behind her.
Jayle: *whispers to Aelia* I feel so sorry for you.
*Aelia groans and sits down*
Belenus: Kashell, behind her. Jelanda, beside him....Miss Jelanda?
*Jelanda is talking on her cell-phone*
Belenus: Excuse me? Miss Jelanda!
Jelanda: No way! She wore that? That is like, eww! I mean....*sigh* Hold on, my dorky
new teacher wants something. *puts ear away from phone* What?
Belenus: Hang up the phone, Miss. This is not your free time.
Jelanda: No!
Belenus: Miss, hang up your phone, now!
Jelanda: No!
Belenus: *sighs* Evil Janitor!
*Loki walks in laughing evily. He takes Jelanda away while she’s kicking and screaming.
The class watches, jaws to the floor*
Belenus: Miss Mystina, you will take her seat.
Mystina: Mr. Belanus, that was wrong what you did to Jelanda!
Belenus: Miss, take your seat!
*Mystina glares at him, but sits down*
Belenus: Mr. Valeth, you will sit beside her.
*Lezard grins evily and sits down next to Mystina*
Mystina: No! He won’t! I refuse to sit next to this freak!
Belenus: You don’t have a choice, Mystina.
Mystina: Yes, I do! I will not sit next to him! I mean, look at him, he smells!
Lucian: Come on, Mr. Belanus. Give her a break!
Belenus: Evil Janitor!!!
*Loki walks back in with an insane look. He takes Mystina and Lucian away*
Mystina: Arngrim! Help me!
Arngrim:*like an idiot* Hehehehehehehe!!!
Belenus: Anyone else?
*the class stays silent and shakes their head no, fearfully*
Belenus: Good. *he finishes assigning seats.* Now, we will start with mathmatics.
Arngrim, say your times tables.
Arngrim: Uhh....A bannana is a fruit! Hehehe!
Belenus: Uh...no. What about you, Suo?
Suo: Um, a football times a football is still a football!
Belenus: Your getting there. Aelia?
Aelia: Why? We learned our times tables like in 4th grade. Whats with this?
Belenus: Miss! Say your times tables!
Aelia: I don’t want to.
Belenus: Evil...
Aelia: OK OK!!! Urgh... two times two is four!
Belenus: And?
Aelia: Four times four is sixteen
Belenus: And?
Aelia: Urgh! Nine times nine is eighty-one!
Belenus: Good. Mr. Valeth?
Lezard: 9 x 8 = 72,12 x 12 = 144, 7 x 8 = 56, 169 x 223 = 37687
Belenus: Good! Good!
Jayle: Show off...
*the mega-phone comes on above the classroom*
Belenus: Silence class
Odin: *over the megaphone* Hallo! Hehe! Attention class, if you can’t understand what
I’m saying its probably because I have my mouth all over the megaphone. Hehehe!
Anyways, our new school quote is, ‘Hehe, is your refridgorator running?’ and our mascot
is a pickle! Hehehehe! Thats all. Thank you.
*the bell rings*
Belenus: Have a good day.
*the students go to P.E.*
Aelia: *sees Mystina* Mysty! What did the evil janitor do to you?!
Mystina: He just made us listen to him read Daniele Steele novels.
Aelia: Oh...
Valkyrie: *blows whistle* OK YOU MAGETS! AS A WELCOME BACK PRESENT,
YOU GET TO DO 1,265 PUSH UPS! GO!!!
*everyone groans and starts their excersises*
Valkyrie: MISTER JUN!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!
Jun: *is admiring himself in the mirror* You are too good to do physical education....you
are too beautiful....much too beautiful...
Valkyrie: *blows whistle in Jun’s ear* MR. JUN!! GET YOUR EXCERSISES DONE!
Jun: Should I do my excersises?....
Valkyrie: NOW!!!
Jun: I should do my excersises...
Valkyrie: *to the jocks* So! Which one of you is joining the football team?!
*all the jocks raise their hand*
Valkyrie: THEN I’M DOUBLING YOUR EXCERSISES!!!
*the jocks moan and do twice as much excersises. Arngrim keeps going and doesn’t stop.
Everyone watches him, confused*
Valkyrie: *to the popular girls* Which of yall are joining the cheerleading squad?!
Mystina: *sighs* Not me!
Valkyrie: Fine! You can lay down on those spikes over there!
*the popular girls quickly volunteer*
Valkyrie: *blows whistle* NOW! I WANT YALL TO SWIM IN THAT POOL OF
SHARKS AND PYRANAS!!! GO!!
*everyone looks at the coach like she’s mad. Of course, she is. Arngrim, stupidly, jumps
into the pool. Everyone watches him, shocked*
~*At lunch*~
Llewelyn: No! Darth Maul is a sith! Not a dark lord!!
Kashell: No! He’s just a bad guy!
Lezard: No, he is a sith.
Kashell: Are you sure?
Lezard: Pretty sure.
Llewelyn: Did you know, Leia marries Han Solo in the book?
Kashell: Yeah! But Luke never got married!
Lezard: Did you know, George Lucas took forever to build Java’s HQ to just destroy it?
He said it was so beautiful!
Llewelyn: That was sad...
Kashell: Man! Nothing can beat Star Wars!
All the nerds: Yeah!
*The jocks walk over to the nerds*
Arngrim: Its time for your first-day-of school beating!
Kashell: Thats not fair! We’re defenseless!
Lawfer: Thats the point!
*the jocks beat up the nerds then sit back at their table with the popular girls*
Jayle: Mystina. Truth or dare?
Mystina: Dare.
Jayle: I dare you to ask Lezard to the prom.
*everyone looks at Mystina. She grins*
Mystina: OK. *she walks over to the nerds table. She sits down next to Lezard and
winks* So Lezard...
Lezard: *backs away* Yes?...
Mystina: *leans toward him* How about you take me to the prom?
Lezard: How about, no?
Mystina: Why? Has four-eyes not gone through puberty yet?
Lezard: No...I know your just joking.
*Mystina laughs and sits down back at her table*
~*The first day finally ends and all the students load the bus*~
Gandar: Now, you little brats! Don’t bother me anymore, or I will crash this bus!
Students: Yeah right!
Gandar: Wanna bet?!
Kashell: *sneaks up behind Gandar sticking his finger in Gandar’s ear* Wet Willy!!!
Gandar: Ahhh!!!
*the bus goes out of control, and for the millionth time, crashes into a building. The
students run out of the bus as it catches on fire*
Lucian: Geez, your a lousy driver...
Gandar: What was that? Boy! Get back here! If I wasn’t glued to this chair I’d...wait..who
glued me to the chair?!
*some students laugh and run away*
Gandar: Grr! You little pests! Get back here, now!
So, the first day of school is over. Will the teachers and the students survive the next 170
or so more days? Find out! In Part 3: The Punk Rocker Vampire, Prom Singer!
|